A Letter from a Dark Place

30 May

To Whom it may Concern,

I’ve never been one to drop a pen pal without having a reason or two. When I dropped my New Mexico one not long after having Logan it was because my patience wore thin getting letters around the size of a sticky note. When I dropped a woman from New York it was because I got several letters from her, all pages long, yet she never really said anything. There have been pen pals I passed on since it seemed like they just collected pen pals, but there are people I agreed to write over the past several months, and although they’re all nice women, I have no idea why I did.

I still love writing letters as much as ever, but when it comes to responding to most of the people I acquired within the past six months it has been feeling more like a chore. I don’t know if I was/am just not in the market for new pen pals or if I’m just having issues bonding with people these days. I think I may just be going through a phase but the first solution to any problem is admitting that there is one. That said, I think I will write about my current frustrations as if I were writing to each of these women in the hopes of gaining some clarity. Chances are the following statements may sound a little bitchy and I’m sorry for that, but just know that I’m not dropping anyone or even using names but simply getting these thoughts out of  my head and into print.

1. I was really excited when I first heard from you- your letter was long, colorful, and full of questions. I remember anxiously awaiting your second letter only for it to take over a month because you had 30+ other letters to  respond to first. As much as I appreciate you not making me feel as if I’m  just  another pen pal to you, I no longer am nearly as excited when I hear from you.

2. I love your creativity and how hands-on you are with your kids- I even enjoy enclosing extra sheets of stationery for your daughter. Those things aside though it doesn’t feel like we have very much in  common. It warms my heart when you say things like I’m the only  pen pal you have and want, but I can’t help but feel if you are going to be such an exclusive pen pal you should be writing someone you share more interests with.

3. I have yet to hear from you, though ever since I gave you my address I’ve been regretting it. I know you’re fine just  exchanging postcards for now, but as I already acquired my ideal postcard pen pal, Wendy, I’m not really sure I’ll enjoy the process as much and I hate the fact that I have such low expectations. I do know of someone interested in an international pen pal so if all else fails maybe the two of you could write each other.

4. As a mom I know it’s easy to talk about our little bundle of joys, but I feel like yours is all you talk about. I remember being happy when I heard you were having a baby boy since it would be something we could bond over, but I haven’t felt any closer to you now that he’s here. In fact, I feel like we’re even further apart.

5. A pen pal of ours is responsible for me finding 3 pen pals that I’ve had for a few years, so when she suggested I write you too I felt very  much inclined. I’m  hoping that as our letters increase so will my desire to write them, but I’m currently feeling as though the other women I met have set a rather high bar.

6. I have only received one letter from you so far so I’m going to try and keep an open mind and not dwell on the fact that I had to force myself to respond to you. However, if I don’t hear from you soon I may begin to dwell on the fact you don’t write often.

Yeah, again, my apologies for any bitchiness. I imagine I could live with one or two people being less than ideal but six? I guess I’m just content with my current crop of pen pals and only wish they wrote more… I think that’s why I have such a negative attitude towards anyone new, especially since no one seems to write very often. Am I being unreasonable or even unrealistic? If I were to decide to drop someone would I be justified? If you were me what would you do? You know, besides taking some happy pills.

Anxiously awaiting any thoughts,
Sincerely, Kate ~!~

Advertisements

One Response to “A Letter from a Dark Place”

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Book Review: The Help | Sincerely Kate - 06/05/2013

    […] get those thoughts out of my system. So to everyone who reads my letters or the blogs I write like my last one, thanks for your […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: