Tied Up With Strings

Though this blog of mine is far from dead, prior to this month it was sort of limping around since going from posting regularly to having a few sporadic features. Sometimes I think about bringing the schedule back, but I don’t want to post something half-assed just because it’s the 25th of a month. Today, however, I do need to address something that has been beginning to weigh heavily on me, especially with Christmas now a month away.

Although I’m forever a sucker for anything Alice in Wonderland, I’m reaching a point in my life where I no longer find much joy in getting packages full of odds and ends, or even little extra things tucked in letters. That’s not to say I haven’t been pleasantly surprised by some gifts, but more than I’d like to admit I feel like the sender’s money was wasted on me. Sure, they might have just seen the item in the clearance section and thought what the hell?, but if it didn’t actually scream “Kate” I’d be more than content just seeing a picture of it. I’m sure someone somewhere thinks I sound ungrateful and wants to comment on how it’s the thought that counts, and honestly I do feel ungrateful. However, that “it’s the thought that counts” door swings both ways. First and foremost, I never EVER want any of my pen pals to think I expect a gift, or feel an obligation to get me something– heck, I’m not even crazy about getting Christmas cards while we’re being honest. What I do want my pen pals to think about is the object in question, asking themselves if they think it’s something I’d actually get use out of, or if I’d see it more as clutter.

Take for example a Harry Potter ornament I recently got from Sarah, never mind the fact that it is too big to actually fit on our tree. I know why Sarah sent it– I started reading Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone to the Loganator. The thing is though, this is a S.L.O.W. process, so much so Logan and I only make small dents on Mondays and therefore won’t even get to the scene depicted until Christmas is long over. I know I’m sounding like a Scrooge right now, but bear with me. Do I like Harry Potter? Sure, but is it a favorite thing of mine? No. Something I do love? Gnomes, yet a third of our collection is tucked away because we don’t have the space to display them. If it comes down to having a gnome on a shelf or Harry Potter characters, I’m going to be rolling with my gnomie. P.S. This example has a happy ending– Sarah said she was tempted to keep the ornament for herself before so I’ll be sending it back to her.

Again, I feel ungrateful even bringing this up, and I feel like a hypocrite on top of things since I used to send many a knick knack I found in Oriental Trading catalogs. At the heart of these feelings though, I don’t want to be given gifts, I want to be given time. Having pen pals is how I have mainly socialized as an adult, especially since becoming a stay-at-home-mom, so if I’m given the choice between a present, or someone being present in the form of letters, I will choose the latter.

I apologize for this downer of a post. I thought it was important, though, for my pen pals to know where I stand now, and maybe verbalize how others may be feeling about gift-giving becoming too much of an obligation among loved ones. So as we move into the Christmas season, I believe we all should strive to be more mindful of what our friends and family truly want, and give them the presents (or presence!) that matter most.

Sincerely, Kate ~!~